Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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