this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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