meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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