it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
