Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
