I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
