Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
