Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
