I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
