Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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