Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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