using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
