I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
