Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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