He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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