I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize