I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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