these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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