Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
