It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
