I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
