Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize