I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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