Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
