I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
