and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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