Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
