Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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