i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
