Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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