I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
