I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
