Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
