If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
the liver wants what the liver wants
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize