you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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