Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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