I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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