sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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