Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize