You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
try to milk me bitch
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