Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
