I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
