Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
