shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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