Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
