Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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