i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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