I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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