Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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