I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
