I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
