Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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