You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
