I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
wow bdsm is so cute
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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