So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
