saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
