thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
