At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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