There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
