i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
