there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
